Leading Those Who Don't Like You

Pastoring a small church can be both a rewarding and challenging experience. While the intimate nature of small congregations allows for close relationships, it also means that conflicts and disagreements can be more personal and intense. As a pastor, it's important to lead with love and wisdom, even when dealing with those who don't like you. This week, we'll explore strategies to help small church pastors navigate these complex situations with grace and compassion.

1. Self-Reflection and Humility
Before addressing the issue of leading those who don't like you, it's essential to engage in some self-reflection. Recognize that not everyone will agree with your leadership style or decisions. Be open to feedback and consider the possibility that you may have made mistakes. Humility is a valuable trait for any pastor, as it allows you to approach conflicts with a willingness to learn and grow.

2. Active Listening
To address the concerns of those who may not like you, it's crucial to be an active and empathetic listener. Set aside your preconceived notions and truly hear what others have to say. Create a safe space for open and honest conversations. When people feel heard and understood, it can go a long way in resolving conflicts and building trust.

3. Seek Common Ground
Try to find common ground with those who have differing opinions. Focus on shared values and goals. By emphasizing what unites your congregation rather than what divides it, you can create a sense of unity and purpose. This can be especially effective in small churches where close-knit communities are often the norm.

4. Address Concerns with Love
When dealing with individuals who don't like you, respond with love and grace. Remember that as a pastor, your role is to shepherd your flock and lead by example. By showing love and kindness in the face of adversity, you can demonstrate the principles of your faith and inspire others to do the same.

5. Set Boundaries
While showing love and empathy is essential, it's also crucial to set boundaries. If someone's dislike for you becomes disruptive or harmful to the church community, you may need to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy environment. This could include involving your board or elders or addressing the situation publicly if necessary.

6. Focus on the Greater Mission
Encourage your congregation to keep their focus on the greater mission of the church. Remind them of the importance of their faith and the work that needs to be done. When the church is united in its mission, personal differences can often take a back seat to the collective purpose.

7. Conflict Resolution
When conflicts arise within your congregation, handle them in a constructive and biblical manner. Utilize conflict resolution techniques and involve neutral mediators if needed. Ensure that any disputes are addressed openly and fairly, following the principles of your faith.

8. Pray and Seek Guidance
As a pastor, seek spiritual guidance through prayer and meditation. Sometimes, the best approach to leading those who don't like you is to surrender the situation to the Lord. Seek wisdom and strength to navigate these challenging relationships in a way that aligns with the Scriptures.


Leading those who don't like you in a small church setting can be one of the most challenging aspects of pastoral ministry. However, it's also an opportunity to demonstrate the principles of love, empathy, and humility that are central to the Christian faith. By engaging in self-reflection, active listening, and seeking common ground, small church pastors can build bridges and foster unity within their congregations. Remember that, ultimately, your goal is to guide your church towards spiritual growth and a deeper connection with their faith.


The goal is not to win as much as to glorify God... How have you dealt with this in your ministry?...



At Small Church Guys, we understand the unique challenges you face in your calling to shepherd small churches. That's why we are here to provide unwavering support as you navigate the intricacies of ministry. Whether you need assistance with staffing, guidance in decision-making, or simply a ministry confidant to share your thoughts and concerns, we've got your back. Our mission is to walk alongside you and help you achieve your vision by promoting ministry health and fostering a thriving church community. You don't have to go it alone; let Small Church Guys be your partner in ministry, empowering you to lead with confidence and impact lives for God's glory.

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