Turning Conflict into Traction

Conflict is an inevitable part of church life. Whether it arises from differing opinions, personal disagreements, or organizational challenges, conflict creates friction that can generate heat if not managed effectively. As Tony Rose, a seasoned Southern Baptist pastor and conflict management expert, aptly notes, “All conflict produces friction, and friction will always produce heat. But the one who manages conflict properly turns that friction into traction, not heat.” In this post, we will explore how pastors of small churches can transform conflict into productive traction, fostering growth and unity within their congregations.

Understanding the Nature of Conflict: Conflict, when viewed through the lens of church life, can be seen as a natural consequence of diverse perspectives and personalities. It’s essential to recognize that conflict is not inherently destructive but can be a catalyst for positive change if managed well. Friction from conflict can lead to innovative solutions, strengthened relationships, and a deeper understanding of one another's needs and values.


Turning Friction into Traction:

1. Embrace the Reality of Conflict: Accept that conflict is a normal and inevitable part of church dynamics. By acknowledging its inevitability, you can approach it with a proactive mindset rather than avoiding or fearing it.

2. Foster Open Communication: Create an environment where open and honest communication is encouraged. Encourage congregants to express their concerns and opinions respectfully, and listen actively to their perspectives. Effective communication can bridge gaps and resolve misunderstandings before they escalate.

3. Focus on Common Goals: Redirect the focus of the conflict towards shared objectives and values. By emphasizing common goals, you can unite individuals with differing viewpoints and work collaboratively towards solutions that benefit the entire church community.

4. Seek to Understand: Make an effort to understand the underlying causes of conflict. Often, disagreements stem from unmet needs or misunderstandings. By addressing the root causes, you can resolve conflicts more effectively and prevent them from recurring.

5. Practice Empathy and Compassion: Approach conflict with empathy and compassion. Recognize that individuals involved in the conflict may have different perspectives and emotions. Showing understanding and care can diffuse tension and foster a more cooperative atmosphere.

6. Implement Conflict Resolution Strategies: Utilize proven conflict resolution strategies, such as mediation or facilitation, to guide the process. These methods can help manage disagreements constructively and ensure that all parties feel heard and valued.

7. Promote a Culture of Forgiveness: Encourage a culture of forgiveness and reconciliation within the church. Emphasize the importance of letting go of grudges and working towards healing relationships, as exemplified by biblical teachings.

8. Understand the Reality of Spiritual Warfare: Meals don’t prepare themselves; speeches don’t write themselves and children don’t teach themselves. In each of these activities, there has been much preparation before the final product has been revealed. The same is true about our spiritual walk as we prepare to engage in Spiritual Warfare. We cannot expect to be prepared for battle if we have not prepared for the task at hand. 

Biblical Insights on Conflict Management: The Bible provides valuable guidance on managing conflict. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus outlines a process for resolving disputes between believers, emphasizing reconciliation and forgiveness. Additionally, Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger," highlighting the importance of approach and tone in conflict resolution.


Conflict, while challenging, presents an opportunity for growth and unity within the church community. By managing conflict with wisdom, empathy, and effective strategies, pastors we can turn friction into traction, fostering a stronger, more cohesive congregation. Embrace conflict as a chance to deepen relationships, address underlying issues, and advance the mission of your church. As Tony Rose suggests, the key lies in transforming conflict from a source of heat into a driving force for positive change.



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